I DO NOT make smart decisions.
I allowed this to get carried away.
I've had chances to fix the problem, but instead I dwell in the misfortune.
I play the victim who has an epiphany and is suddenly liberated,
but its nothing more than a facade.
This false sense of me taking control often sets me 1,000 steps backward.
I can conjure a master plan for anything I want, but when something needs to be done I haven't a clue.
I often sit and think, think, think about it.
the thoughts always tear me apart...
damn I should have a handle on this shit.
I see the problem is me.
surprise.
the solution is obvious, but sadly I'm oblivious.
"Get it together!"
I will. I have to do better.
*Self-Reflection
-EDIT-
I just finished my evening Gongyo and the fourth silent prayer touched my heart...
"I pray to bring forth Buddhahood from within my life and accomplish my own human revolution, change my destiny and fulfill my wishes in the present and the future."
~I am so serious when I say Buddhism is my strength. This personal prayer is exactly what I needed at the moment.
-Live Life With Compassion :)
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