Tonight

My favorite Xscape song :)
I miss Hummin Cummin At Cha...
Need to purchase that ASAP!!
After finishing the night off with beautiful women & their lovely vocal gifts..lol
Its time for me to rest my body & mind
Until next timeee...

*Live Life With Compassion ;)

Sex In Public

Staceyann Chin posted a question on FB...

"Sex in public: should it be against the law?"

ALLLLLLLL of the responses were, "No, it shouldn't" or "Yes, because its fun to break the law" or "Yeahhh, Oh Let's Do It!!"

And as in tune with my sexuality as I am...I still have to go with sex being a private matter.

Now, I cannot play the holier than thou role, because yes I have had car-lies (lol..car sex), but its just the thrill of being caught.

& Again, I have sexed in front of people because of the excitement of an audience (Plus after a while they fade to blackkk..aha)

buttttt to say public sex should be legal..I think that unacceptable.

All the responses were made from what seems to be lesbians & bisexual women.

I honestly think at times the homosexual culture slacks on morals and etiquette.

We are always So quick to suggest something risque & off the wall, but why?

That's why straight people or the masses in general, give us such a hard time.

Because we are a group of rainbow rocking, public sex having, impulsive thrill seeking party animals with no sense of class or purpose.

Now this of course is a generalization and does not pertain to the individuals in my circle of friends, but it is veryyyy true in my "family"... gay family that is.

Basically, I feel everyone being so excited to sex in public is, well, a tad bit juvenile.

I feel like people are always so hype to be freaky, and *in my Jay Karan Pendavis voice* let it all outtt...but in reality..we need to have some class and some control.

Bring the sexual tip down a notch.

What happened to building up the desire? If I'm in traffic, all that fuckstration will build up & Ima give you that workkkk when I finally get home.

NOTTTT

We in traffic sexing...WHATTT?!?

*In SaBria voice* No girl.

Freak in the sheetssss...not streetssss!

Its almost as tacky as this song...

(S/O to Tiff for playing this last night...Lol)

But that's just my opinion ..What do you think?

*As Always Live Life With Compassion <3

Nails

She will always be my favorite :)
As years go on, I find more & more people say they love her.
Butttt,
I doubt they love her like I do...
I've appreciated her work wayyyy before anyone else...
I don't care whatttt you sayy :-P
Lol.

The Beautiful Staceyann Chin ;)

*Live Life With Compassion :D

Bet I Bustttt ;)

Last night I decided to attend an all black party with my cousins Tiffany, Brittany & Allison.
It was trash.
But of course my ladies & I had our own fun ;)

I wish we took pics, but we were too busy dancing.
I feel like the girls who choose to sit down at parties should assume the position of photographer...
I mean you might as well make yourself useful.

hehe.
#shotsfired
^^Haha Sweetpea taught me thatt :) s/o to Twitter!
sikeeee.

 But the thing I enjoyed most was driving through Newark & Linden, looking like the fliest ladies on the planet.
& What we did blast in the car ..not necessarily my first choice of songs, but they set the tempo :]

It feels good to be surrounded by beautiful black young women, with the bass bumping so loud the car next to us looks like wtf, but then catches a glimpse of us & is just like "damnnnnn...yall fine"

Yes, My ladies & I are quite beautiful.
Lol,
I really do love that night air .. it gets me everytime.
& Lets not mention the fact that it was a full moon ;)
hehe.

Bascially after a couple of crappy days what I needed most was a night our with my cousins :)
Family <3

Ps. If you wondering why I chose that title..It was one of my favorite songs played last night. Haha, Idk why but I likeeee it ;)

*Live Life With Compassion

Rage Disappointment Sorrow

I can't continue to be upset with how you behave,
with your neglect.


your half ass attempts to make it all better.


I can't allow you to hurt me.
FUCK
I hate that it affects me.


I wish I could ignore it
but my heart always takes it the hardest.


But I honestly cannot continue to be upset.
I have to just cut your bullshit out my life.
when you act right..ill be here.
when youre on that bullshit...ill be no where to be found.


you have making up to do
youve fallen from the pedestal
& I'm disgusted in you.


I love you too much to express these exact words.
But I'll make sure you get the fact that you're not doing right by me.


Blahh,
Ive lost so much admiration
you ugh..sicken me.


please get it together.
if these feelings continue...
you might as well consider me gone.




-No more of my posts will be gloomy
I'm not stressing anymore.
So look forward to happy posts..
because I refuse to live anything other than a goldenn lifeee ; ) 

Airplanes

I could use a dream or a genie or a wish
To go back to a place much simpler than this

And all the pandemonium and all the madness
There comes a time where you fade to the blackness

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)

*Live Life With Compassion :-*

She Smiles At My Demise

In The Beginning -
Invincible...
Nothing can bring me down,
Give me e v e r y t h i n g you got.
Nothing you do to me will have any type of impact on me
You're powerless
You think any of that shit phases me?
Fuck You

Pitchforks & Torches -
Restrained...
They taped my mouth,
wrists taped together behind my back..
ankles bleeding...they pulled on the chains & drug me all the way there.
They ripped the tape of my mouth, "Any last words?"
Fuck you
She lifts my back of the ground...then punches me in th face...
Blood trickles from my mouth,
the last words I spoke.

TO BE CONTINUED.
I'm gonna go lay down.

I'll finish this later

What I Need..

...Is a nice good cry.
I honestly feel...well..defeated.

I'm always fighting...
I'm always conquering some obstacle..
I'm so weak...
I can't find strength in anybody else,
because I can't find strength with in myself.

I wonder if I continue to fight out of stupidity.
I'm not courageous at all, I'm just too dense to figure out that I'm fucking myself in the head.

Smh...
I just need a good cry,
I've been battling a lot lately..
& I need to release & then I'll feel better.

I'll post two entries I wrote earlier today...but as of now...
I need to disappear and be alone for a while...

*Live Life With Compassion...
I'm tired of being the only one who does!

Patricio Prodigy Tribute

*Aww watching this made me smile :D
I miss patty cakes soo muchhh <|3

--If you go to 3:15 in the video..I vogue better now when it comes to hand performance..but those dips are sooo SEVERE!! I gotta get my dips backk ;)

Ahh memory lanee..
Goldiee Ninja & Patricio Prodigy :D

*Live Life With Compassion ;)

Prayer For Freedom Of Suffering

May all beings everywhere plagued
with sufferings of body and mind
quickly be freed from their illnesses.
May those frightened cease to be afraid,
and may those bound be free.
May the powerless find power,
and may people think of befriending each other.
May those who find themselves in trackless, fearful wilderness--
the children, the aged, the unprotected--
be guarded by beneficent celestials,
and may they swiftly attain Buddhahood.
The Buddha


*Too much has been going on lately.
All of this negative chi is unhealthy.
All the tears, all the pain...must cease.


This prayer will make a difference <3
Love Silese.


*Live Life With Compassion :-*

Justtt like thattt...

Lay me down gently...
place soft kisses from my neck allll the way down my spine
nibble, bite & tease...
make me yearn for it.


caress my lower back as you kiss my stomach
lightly bite down to my thighs...
i wish i could hide how you're making me feel but my body always gives me away


look me passionately in the eyes...
then place those sweet kisses down my inner thighs 
..struggling to keep my composure...


lick my nipples...
mmm,
yeah like you love em.
go head bite..I won't mind.


slowly run your tongue down my side...
bite me baby.


spread em...
teaseee me.
feel my body tense up...
youll know when i cant wait any longer.


one stroke of your tongue...
and i...i...
i notice something doesn't feel right.


maybe i should go.
yeahhh..
i really should.


wait baby let me love you
you plead.
love me? I ask.


thousands of thoughts flush through my mind...
which combination works best,
how do i explain..
i simply cannot.


sorry.
this doesnt feellll as it should.
goodbye.


*Live Life With Compassion ;)

Richard Matheson

I cannot deny it...I'm addicted to Richard Matheson's novels and short stories!
I mean everyone knows my favorite book is What Dreams May Come...
But thats just the beginning :D


* I have to admit...one thing about being out of school is I finally have time to read again. I've re-read Button, Button; Girl of my Dreams; Dying Room Only; A Flourish of Strumpets...etc. & they are all like brand new stories to me :)


I've noticed alllll of Matheson's books get turned into movies...but the only one I've seen is I Am Legend. I should go rent the others..just to compare how my mind visualized the characters and the setting to how HOLLYWOOD did..lol.


Currently I'm going back in forth between Somewhere in Time & Nightmare at 20,000 feet...damn I'm a Richard Matheson junkieeee!


--Enough of my nerd posttt...later gatorss ;)
*Live Life With Compassion <3

Bitter -- Bedroom Eyes

From her perspective:



My Perspective:

Now her eyes filled of sorrow.

She avoids eye contact with me...
I know she's afraid
I can't believe I made her like this...

She's such a lively being--
But every time she looks at me
I can see the pain in her eyes...
her eyes start to glaze over.

with an empty lifelessness in her voice she whispers,
"...i'm still in love with you"

I never intended to hurt you.
I hate the fact that I broke your heart.
I vowed to never hurt a woman...
I let you & myself down.

I'm Sorry.

*Live Life With Compassion!

Hidden Blog #1

There are several blogs I have..that have collected dust in my drafts.
Usually I leave them there because they are to full of emotion .. & I've never had expressing myself come easy...
but since I haven't submitted something in a while.. I'll take the easy way out & submit a draft.
This one is entitled People Only Treat You How You Allow Them To Treat You!...


It's my fault that you do NOT treat me like a QUEEN--
I don't ask it of you.


It's okay that you are NOT a CHARMER--
I don't require it of you.


It's my fault that I've become DISENCHANTED


I CANT hold you accountable for the disregard
You...still have some concepts to GRASP.
I'll wait patiently.


The fact that I choose to wait is the 
PRECISE 
reason as to why its my fault.


I'll continue to stick around in the hopes that one day you'll STOP
and EVALUATE how you live & behave.


I CANNOT blame you for not reflecting.
You're living in the SPOTLIGHT


I hope you don't crash VIOLENTLY from fame
but regardless
I'll be there to amend that TRAGEDY


You are a SUPERHERO in the eyes of everyone, but mine.


When the town stops chanting your name,
I'll be here...
But damn you for being so 
FUCKING oblivious. 


-FIN.


*As always,
Live Life With Compassion

Body Modifications :D

If you know me, you know I LOVE body modifications.
I have 14 piercings and 6 retired piercings :/

- 4 lobes
- helix of right ear
- 4g in helix of left ear
- nostril
- septum
- tongue
- microdermal in my chest
- both nipples
- navel
- christina/isabelle ;)

& my retired piercings are
- 2 microdermals under my clavicle
- 2 microdermals in my back
- horizontal navel
- nape

But Goldie & body mods are old news, whats the point of this blog?
Well, now there's a new edition to my body mods, my first tattoo :D

It reads "Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo," This is the first line of the lotus sutra. The KING of all sutras :) The lotus sutra is the direct path to enlightenment.
But I'll break it down some more :)

Nam- Devotion; the action of practicing Buddhism
Myoho- Mystic Law; the essential law of life (& its phenomenal manifestations)
Renge- Lotus; the simultaneity of cause & effect
Kyo- Sutra; the truth expressed through the sound of one's voice.

This tattoo means so much to me. I feel like since I began studying Buddhism and embracing the ideologies and concepts -- not to mention since I received my Gohonzon-- I've been at peace, with myself, my life, the world. I've seen some hardships and the road has been bumpy, but I've received so much to be grateful for.

Everyday I do my Gongyo and I chant Nam-myoho-renge-kyo and I feel empowered, I have so much strength and I simply love my journey to enlightenment.
As soon as I've learned enough I want to share Nichiren Buddhism to everyoneee! (I just need to have everything down so I represent for my Buddha ;] ) lol

*Oh yeahhh, I also bought my cousin Tiffany a tattoo as a late birthday present.
Here's the both of us & our 1st Tatts :D

:D
The creepy smile in the corner is our friend Xiomara & The white shirt is our artist Fabio aka 5Loco aka Fabo-Loco. Lmao.

Overall, my tattoo experience was lovely :)
Fabio was amazing. He's so funny, down to earth, a potheaddd, he used to follow Thai Buddhism (which I am unfamiliar with), something about mushrooms :O! and he is Columbian & Salvadorian? <-- I forget :( & made it a lovely 1st tattoo. And like any male he was hype to "pop" our cherries. I said chill dude, thats mad HETEROOO. Eww.
Lol. But it was a fun 3 hoursss XD Look...

*LMAO. Way to capture the Marijuana in the picture. Smh. Well I guess it gives the picture character..lol

:)
Ahaa, I hope you enjoyed my first tat ass much as I did. It wasn't bad at all. (*Tiffany had a completely different experience, She died a slow death with all those colors..so this is just my testimony..just because I was okay..does not mean you will...TATT WITH CAUTION!) ;)

As Always,
* Life Live With Compassion

Aldo Nudes

I go to check my yahoo email account and I see an email from Aldo :)
Hoping its 50-70% off coupons, I open it ready to find a new shoe to add to my collection.
But, What do I see? This...

Aldo Nudes? Nude?

To whom?

If I put these shoes on, the LAST thing they will do is blend in with my skin tone.

When it comes to Race, I'm afraid people aren't aware of the privilege they have. They can go into Aldo and get nude shoes and they WILL match their complexion. 

I highly doubt they realize that they are indeed privileged, they walk in the store and expect "nude" color shoes, bras, etc to complement their skin, or blend in, they're entitled to that right? Right.

Sorry Aldo,

I am uninterested in your "Nude" shoes.

*Sorry if this was feisty.

-Live Life With Compassion :)(:

Same Song...Different Tune

I DO NOT make smart decisions.
I allowed this to get carried away.
I've had chances to fix the problem, but instead I dwell in the misfortune.
I play the victim who has an epiphany and is suddenly liberated,
but its nothing more than a facade.
This false sense of me taking control often sets me 1,000 steps backward.
I can conjure a master plan for anything I want, but when something needs to be done I haven't a clue.
I often sit and think, think, think about it.
the thoughts always tear me apart...
damn I should have a handle on this shit.
I see the problem is me.
surprise.
the solution is obvious, but sadly I'm oblivious.
"Get it together!"
I will. I have to do better.

*Self-Reflection

-EDIT-
I just finished my evening Gongyo and the fourth silent prayer touched my heart...
"I pray to bring forth Buddhahood from within my life and accomplish my own human revolution, change my destiny and fulfill my wishes in the present and the future."
~I am so serious when I say Buddhism is my strength. This personal prayer is exactly what I needed at the moment.


-Live Life With Compassion :)

ASL

American Sign Language :)

I've wanted to learn sign language for years, and I even tried to steal my cousins Signing For Dummies. Lol. Today I decided to take some initiative and teach myself :D

I simply searched "Learn Sign Language" in Google and started studying. I started at maybe 10pm and now I've learned the alphabet, numbers 1-10, how to sign: Are you deaf?, My name is.., What is your name?, Nice to meet you and Thank you for being my friend!

:D

Lol. I'm so excited. I may stop here for today.. or continue...not sure yet.

*Until Next Time...
Live Life With Compassion <3

Syrup & Honey

Don’t you being wasting all your money
On syrup and honey
Because I’m sweet enough
Don’t you be using every minute
On making a living
Because we got our love
Listen to me, 1,2,3
Baby, baby, baby spend your time on me

Don’t you be out all night long
Leaving me all alone
Because I, I need your love
Don’t you be spending everyday working away
Because I’m waiting for you
Listen to me, 1,2,3
Baby, baby, baby spend your time on me

Spend it, spend it, spend your time on me
Please baby
Mmmm
Please baby

<3

-My Dearest Jew Jew Bean put me on to this song. Duffy is greattt :)

*Live Life With Compassion

Deepwater Horizon Incident-Gulf of Mexico BP Oil Spill

- The worst oil spill in America's history.

We have been dealing with this spill since April 20th, and there has been an estimated 46 milllion gallons of oil spewed throughtout the Gulf since.

I usually give people the benifit of the doubt and I would say something like, "It was an unfortunate event and... it's everyone's nightmare" But I'm disgusted in ALL oil companies.

So since 1989, All of you oil companies ( Exxon, Shell, Bp & etc.) have been drilling deeper & deeper and boosting of your 10,000+ ft deep oil wells--So from all that profit, all that bank, that the richest companies in the world have made ($21.1 to $45.2 Billion), they all decided to invest in ways to drill deeper, instead of contributing monies to containment awareness and cleanup technology.

^^^Where was the prevention of oil blobs? Where was the emergency clean-up plan?

So you all were proud of your deep big wells of oil, but you didn't have NOT a plan for a possible oil spills? You didn't plan for the possibilities of a spill? Don't lie & say you did Mister Bp...I've seen your "Oil spill response Failures!"

^^^ These little "booms" aren't doing a DAMN thing. Mister Bp, you're using that to try & tame a 46 gallon spill? Please. Your efforts are dispicable. Inadequate.

&&&
As for the "Deepwater Horizon Oil Spill being Obama's Katrina".
*Shut thee **** up. Please spare ME the madness!

Let's make this clear, when it comes to Katrina there was a lack of response to a HUMAN TRAGEDY. An Africian American Tragedy. Let's not go down that path.

Obama is in charge of making sure Bp cleans up the mess they made, the fact that Bp was completely unprepared is Obama's fault because...? I'm waiting.
Let me put it in perspective for the slower ones...

Obama = suspending exploration drilling off the coasts (including Alaska and Virginia) and overseeing operation clean-up.
Bp = responsible for the spill, responsible for the clean-up.

So people gettt itttt rigghhttt!

*Sigh
As always,
Live Life With Compassion <3

Terrified

I just awoke from the Scariest nigthmare.
I can't type at this time, I'm so shaken up.
I just have to keep my eyes open.

*Chanting
*Nam-myoho-renge-kyo

Jesús Torrealba

One morning after finishing my Gongyo (morning prayers) -- I was reciting my Gongyo online with YouTube to help with pronunciation,-- I decided to search Kosen-Rufu (world peace) images in the hopes of finding something to tatt :) I don't have any tattoos yet and I still want to get my Lotus & Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, but I just want to have all the tatts I may want in mind so I can work on detail and making them the fliest tatts ever :D All of my tatts will be about Nichiren Buddhism, it is my strength in this world aka the only thing worth tattooing on my body.

(Pshh, Don't you hate when girls have their name tatted on them? Come on, you couldn't be more creative? They have name plates and rings for that...)

But as usual, I digress. While searching for kosen-rufu images, I came across thee most beautiful website of Buddhist paintings and drawings. The artist is Jesus Torrealba. (All pictures in this post are the work of Jesus Torrealba, I own none of the rights to his work) ;] This man truly has talent and his paintings are soooo beautiful, they touched my heart and I really have an appreciation for how intricate and well thought out his paintings are. I can't stress enough about how fly they are! Well enough of me talking about it, I'll show you what I'm talking aboutt :)

These are AMAZING! So very breath taking...I tell you this man has talent.

***Now if you were wondering why there is an adult content warning on my page, here comes the answerrr***

After seeing Torrealba's work, I googled his name trying to find more of his work.
Oh did I everr..
 When you google his name you DO NOT find his Buddhist artwork, what you find can be something like...

You catch my drift!
So, yes he is veryyyy talented. But I think I like his Buddhist pieces a taddd bit more than the erotica paintings. Nevertheless, I'm happy I found his work, because now I have sooo many ideas for my future tattoos :D


Until Next Time...
Live Life With Compassion <3