Sorry For The Hiatus...

Class, Homework & Work have taken over my lifeeee :/

Lol. But luckily I bought a camera in the end of August  so I've captured some of the time we spent apart ;)
lol.

I went to visit my superhero brother :) & the baby, my Sweetpea, came too =D!
My brother is recovering at the speed of light & I'm extremely proud of him.
His strength and resilience is amazing.
But let the slideshow beginnnn!

We woke up at the crackkkk ass of dawn, the bus was at 550am!
I wanted us to get to Washington DC in the morning so this was the bus that made it happen :)
We arrived at 10th & H st around 9-930ish :)

 

We had quite the adventure getting to the hotel. My friend Tierra informed me that the "red line" was closed for the weekend (because public transportation does shit like that) so half way across a town we've never traveled we went =D She gave us amazingly accurate directions, I have to thank her, because most people cannot direct .. lol.

And before we knew it, we arrived at the Hiltonnnn!

*By this time Sweetpea was too tired of me taking pics, but willing to always make me smile she continued to pose and model for me.

.

We were exhausted and Marcus was at his little cousin's baseball game, so we got to SLEEP!

What a lovely, and much needed rest that was.

Hours later, Marcus' cousin Jen came to pick us up & take us to his other cousin's new house in Baltimore.

It was a good length ride, but on the way the baby, saw something she knew I would appreciate ..

STREET ARTT!

We arrived to everyone looking through old pictures and immediately Marcus gives Sweetpea the oldest, ugliest, most horrid pictures ever. Goldie as a child. *GASP*

that scary stuff right there...so after wresting for the pics back, we all ate dinner cooked by the lovely aunt Sandy. & Then we all played charades. We had a great first day with Marcus.

Much later, we were dropped off, back at the hotel. Day One = A Succuess : )

Day Two, we were messy hungry hungry hippos that were trying to be studious. Linguistics for moi, excel tests for her. We are always productive together, but also extremely messy. Not quite sure why, because we are neat apart. Lol

  

After doing tons and tons of homework (college suckss) we finally got ready to go to Walter Reed to see my Marky-Butt. Waiting for the shuttle from the hotel to the hospital took forever...so we had a photo shoot. duh ;)

 

FINALLLLLYYY. We arrived at the Molonge House and Marcus & Liz were chilling, watching movies. Watching Love Don't Cost A Thing, which I'd never seen before. & Then Marcus showed me is updated collection of medals and awards =D

 

Oh & And there was a sexy picture of his K-9 Elly :)

 ^ That's one sexy picture, my school pictures NEVER came close to looking as good as that...I'm jealoussss.

*I have to interrupt this story to grab some food, I'll be back to finish laterrr ;)
Until then,
Live Life A Compassion :-*

*Loveee

mmm, this is REAL nice.
corinne all you had to do is say the WORD.
;)

--Live Life With Compassion :-*

Changee Thingss Uppp

I've been following tons of blogs and on my social networking pages my website is a link to...
my blogspot.
Since this blog is no longer as private as I intended for it to be..
and I don't like the extreme security measures...extremely public to extremely private..lol

Private matters will be dealt with through conversation. I've never been big on opening up to people, but whenever I do, it truly feels amazing.

Soooo....

I'm not going to delete my blog, because it holds memories.
But I will definitely change the tempo.

Where am I going to take it?
-Probably just general thoughts and ideals.
-Events in my life

It can be like my personal reality blog!!
lol..

Just keep checking in on the page & see what I truly end up doing with it.

But in the meantimeeee..
Live Life With Compassion :D!

Evaluating Situations With Your Heart

"I'm trying to find my peace
I was made to believe there's something wrong with me
And it hurts my heart
Lord have mercy ain't it plain to see"

-Janelle Monae

I internalize this verse from Janelle to mean something a little bit different from her intentions in "Cold War." It speaks to me... Often I am ostracized for being compassionate and sympathetic. Some people hint that I shouldn't care as much or advise that I detach myself from emotions sometimes, and I truly thought I was this rare entity with the capacity to evaluate situations with my heart, but other times I couldn't understand why certain solutions weren't obvious to people.

*EDIT*
I wanted to go on a tangent with this post, but I no longer have the energy to deal with this topic. I got the joy of discussing the issue with my father and my friend Tierra. I was able to receive honest feedback and I had some great conversations regarding how to deal with situations in a proper manner. I've come to the conclusion... aka I still believe that all manners can be dealt with appropriately if you evaluate the situation with your heart. When you try to simply think of solutions instead of truly feeling, its evident why you end up .. fucking up.

Both of my conversations boiled down to:
Regardless of how uneasy, uncomfortable, nervous, or unskilled you THINK you are, you rise to the challenge of being there for your significant other, not because it is easy, but because you OWE it to the person you love. Your strength for your partner is unconditional, its not just talked about when times are good, but they are actions demonstrated when times are bad.

Anything thing else is unacceptable.

- Sub-conscience -
I'm not going to tell him anything regarding his relationship, and I'm not going to dwell on my issue any longer.
*You have to love your partner when they are right and when they are wrong.
End of story.
So that chapter is closed, and nothing in the future should be reminiscent of it.

--I think that was still a tangent. lol

*Live Life With Compassion <3

A Bag I Wish I Didn't Have To Pack

He's being transported to Washington by Wednesday.
I'll be flying out tomorrow.
The Army will fund the tickets and the hotel room for a month.
I'm not sure how long I'll stay.

They say he's accepted his injuries.
But he'll need plenty of mental and physical therapy before he is alright.
25 years going on 26, far too young...
The lost of a leg and an eye.
his life has been irreversibly changed,
*sigh*
I just hope it isn't killing him inside.

I know he'll be able to recover and through his therapies he can hopefully resume some of the day to day things we all take for granted.


I understand he truly is a hero,
but I've never been a fan of Russian Roulette.
Three times to war ...
First two times he was blessed to come home untouched...
*sigh*

My head is spinning as I write this.
But I need all of my emotions handled before I get on that plane.

I'm here Marcus,
not just being there as a little sis,
but as your strength, I have to help you be well mentally.
The doctors and the therapy will tend to your body.
I'll be there to help restore your energy,
to help give you some smiles, any sense of hope
and all of my love.

Mommy, Raheem and I are on our way.
We love you,
Keep your spirits up big bro!

Love You,
Silese.

Heartbroken

I'm so hurt.
You are my world and this never should have happened to you.
I'm so grateful that you are alive or I would have hated my birthday weekend for the rest of my life.
I've never been this sad before in my life.
I just wish I had someone in my corner to tell me that you'll be okay.
Someone to comfort me and make sure I'm sleeping well at night.
But the thing is I've been crying myself to sleep every night since the bombing.
I'm so pissed at everyone around me for not making it better,
but the truth is, that no one could ever make it better.
I just have to deal with the fact that for the first time in my life my heart is truly shattered.
Our and your family feel like Mommy & Liz are the only ones who need strength...
but I've ALWAYS been without support and this is when I need it the most.
I cant express how torn up I've been, I've been an emotional wreck.
I can't look at your pictures, and I chant so hard for you,
but I break down every time I'm in front of my Gohonzon...
I don't have the strength...
But I need to have it, I need to be strong for you.
Oh, I have such gruesome images in my head, I do anything in the world to make you better, to reverse everything.
I can't even breathe as I'm writing this.

Marcus you are my world and I love you so much.
I'm so sorry this happened. I'm so sorry. You don't deserve it.

I promise when I see you Wednesday,
I will be sooo strong, I won't let you see me hurting.
I know it will hurt you to see me devastated so I will be so strong for you.
I love you Marcus.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.

Imperfections

She has a(n)

- over bite
- big nose
- bushy eyebrows
- man hairs
- puffy areolas
- serious case of cellulite
- monstrous thighs
- odd feet
- awkward walk
- scars
- multi-tone skin
- uneven hair
- protruding clavicles
- innie/ outtie belly button
- razor bumps
- brittle nails

~She clings to each imperfection
loving them all knowing that
they are the very essence of her being.

~She looks at her imperfections as being perfect at giving her
her own individual beauty.

~Gorgeous, Beautiful, Captivating Imperfections of Perfection ;)

*Live Life With Compassion <3

Heavy on Repeat

This is from 2005...
Its such a beautiful, timeless piece.

Ive been playing this song NON-STOP.
I always play a song 10o0o00o0o0o0x when I love it.
Smh, I know everyone in my house has peachtree blues from listening to it so often..lol

But come onnnn...
This is great stuff right hereeee ;)

*Live Life With Compassion <3

Thought Train...R7??..Nahhh ;)

- She finally stopped wondering what she looks like through everyone else's eyes.

-Life is worth living, no matter the circumstance. Know That.

- I hate wearing clothes

- Extremely loose clothes are a happy medium

- If you don't execute your dreams, you will go the rest of your life working for someone who did.

- One of my favorite songs to sing in the shower is "I Have Nothing"

- S/O to Whitney for being from Newark, New Jerseyyy ;)

- I sleep in her boxers and nothing else

- Never fit in, make your own category

- I can't stop singing Peachtree Blues

- Smoke around me & I'm going to brake your cigarettes, then your face!

- Time doesn't heal wounds ... You can be right back at the moment with a simple flashback

- Do what I do, suppress the memory. Yeah I ended up losing years worth of memories, but thats what today is for...creating memories.

- I have no sympathy for that madness. You allowed it to get there. Make sure your decisions don't ripple out of control. lives are at stake...

- I confess girls with freckles or a gap are my weakness...

-A tribe called FRESH. You'll see.

- My day was fine..I only dieddd of pain..thanks for not asking

- Underestimated

- When I have deja vu with you baby, it reassures me this this is exactly where I'm supposed to be :-*

- Eau Le Doet....Waka Flocka's Cologne, lmao

- At times you truly disappoint me, I deserve better

- Most date to date, Few date to marry...

- Damn, you ruined that song for me...Everytime I hear it, I think of...

- I wish she would stop trying to contact me, i'll deal with you in time

- I'll miss her, this will prepare me for our future...

- Believe in your flyness, conquer your shyness

*That's ALL the stops for today...Thanks for riding ;)
-Live Life With Compassion <3

Anonymous Comments...

Get NOOOO play.

If you think you're going to enlighten me about my life via blogger..
you are SADLY mistaken.

Real Women and Men have conversations..
They don't play guilt tricks, or the victim.

Everyone is a victim...save your sob stories...i have PLENTY of my own

...They don't behave as children with actions that are spiteful and malicious.

I haven't the time for that madness & it will not be tolerated in my life.

So if ANYONE wants to address something I wrote in my PERSONAL blog,
you know where to find me.

I swear this will be the motto of the year if I have to say it again...
INTIMATE ISSUES SHOULD NOT BE ADDRESSED VIA SOCIAL NETWORKING.

smmfh!

I ALWAYS live a life of compassion...
If you don't know that... you DONT KNOW ME.